Life is not good

New year wishes

auxlen — Thu, 19 Aug 2010 17:40:32 +0000

Don’t bother. The ‘new’ year will be filled with the same problems of life and death and haemorrhoids and headaches and war and hatred and oppression and lack of money and arguments and despair and people being twats and not helping each other and moaning and bitterness and being ripped off and paying out money and never ever not even for a second being happy to be alive in this hate filled puddle of runny shit with blood in we call life and the only thing new about this fuck awful motherfucking year is that it has a different number on the end.

Andy McDowell

auxlen — Mon, 26 Oct 2009 20:37:07 +0000

Of course you look good in your overlit, soft focused, airbrushed, high quality film stock advert. Also having had your makeup applied by professionals and having never done a days manual labour in the past 20 odd years probably helped a little.

Try putting on your slap while dressing three kids for school all of them moaning and bitching while attempting to feed them and preparing the evening meal then go shopping in the freezing cold rain because your husband works twelve hour shifts six days a week and then you have to go and scrub floors at the school at 4 for two hours to even break even as both you and him are woefully underpaid and even though your husband helps you out as best you can god help him he’s exhausted after 12 hours of manual labour and then you have to do it all again tomorrow. So try that you stupid pampered moron. Try it for a week and then make an advert telling these real, hardworking, proper women why they have to feel like shit cos don’t have a useless, pointless life like yours. ARRRRRGGGGGHHHH!

I wrote a poem.

auxlen — Mon, 26 Oct 2009 20:31:10 +0000

It doesnt rhyme, it’s not very good, but it is from the heart…or at least that place where the worms wriggle hot in my chest.

New year

Don’t bother wishing me a happy new year

or dare an All the best.

The ‘new’ year

let me tell you

will be filled with the same

Itching and timetables and

haemorrhoids and headaches and

ticks and boxes and

ipods and fumes and

despair and drink and

twats and direct debits

alarms and hawkers

bitterness and touters

buzzers and cheating

bills and betting

never ever

not even for a second

being glad to be alive in this

hate filled puddle of runny shit

with blood in

we call the future and

the only thing new about this

fuck awful motherfucking year

is that it has a different number on the end.

The world is full of crazies

auxlen — Mon, 26 Oct 2009 20:26:48 +0000

I knew it. So did you. So go here and bask in your correctness. http://emailsfromcrazypeople.com

Men who sneer at women drinking pints

auxlen — Mon, 19 Oct 2009 12:42:10 +0000

Why? I dont get it. It’s a glass with alcohol in it? Oh, it makes them look unfeminine, does it? Poor you. I guess then perhaps you should try and understand femininity a bit better as I have never found that it is determined by the size of glass in a woman’s hand.

Let me explain in your native language: ug ug ug ug ug hug ugg. knob head.

Men who call women slags

auxlen — Mon, 19 Oct 2009 12:38:28 +0000

Newsflash: there is no such thing. Slags don’t exist except in the Cokney sense of ‘you’re goin’ daaan, you slaaaag.’ A man (referred to hereafter as the idiot) defines a woman as a slag if she has had any sort of sexual contact with an ‘excessive’ number of men either in a set period of time or since sexual maturity. This is nonsense. To become a slag in idiotic male minds a woman has to do one or all of the following:

1. sleep with a man that the idiot defines as an unacceptable choice. This is usually a man the idiot deems to be less attractive than himself, or of a different ethnic group of the idiot.

2. have had more sexual partners than the idiot deems to be acceptable which usually is because of 3.

3. have had more sexual partners than the idiot

4. have sex with more than one man at the same time or within a set period of time (a week)

5. refused an offer of sexual congress from the idiot

6. perform a sexual act that the idiot finds demeaning to the fairer sex but actually wishes he could get some of that himself and can regularly be found tugging away to images/videos of said act at the PC in his mum’s spare room.

So it all boils down to imposed moral boundaries so i guess we need to blame the church (dont get me started) and peer pressure to conform to an idealised standard. Everyone is different. In essence therefore a slag is a woman who enjoys sex and exploring her sexuality. How shocking. sounds very much like the excuses used for burning witches to me.

The sad thing is men are taught this from an early age and while some men constantly war with this pernicious socialisation, most men can’t be arsed.

People who smoke weed on single decker buses

auxlen — Mon, 19 Oct 2009 12:35:59 +0000

Oooh, your so hard. I am well impressed at your lack of regard for the law and general lack of consideration of those around you. I enjoy getting stoned on my way to work at 7am and am really grateful for the free weed. You saved me a few bob there you stupid tosspot I hope someone thinks you’re a dealer and kicks your door in at 3 am and blows your scabby knees off with a shotgun you inconsiderate, illiterate piece of sputum. I hope you see a video of your foster parents getting bummed by a horse on the internet.

Siding with the female because it’s the thing to do

auxlen — Mon, 19 Oct 2009 12:33:22 +0000

Why is it ok to say Ted Hughes is a bad man and not that Sylvia Plath was a demented, suicidal, clinically depressed bint and that Hughes deserves a medal for putting up with her let alone being able to pen some fucking killer poetry at the same time. Why is it not ok to say Tina ‘warbling mess of hair and legs’ Turner only recorded anything even halfway decent with Ike and anything she did without him isn’t worth a sailors toss on a digestive biscuit? Why can no-one say princess Diana was an adulteress, histrionic label whore who made that big eared fellas life a misery? I have no idea.

What’s love got to do with it?

auxlen — Mon, 19 Oct 2009 12:31:30 +0000

Am I the only person who cheered for Ike in this movie? Surely not.

Anyone who owns a Sting CD.

auxlen — Mon, 19 Oct 2009 12:30:58 +0000

We can never be friends.